Jultomten till Machine
Having seen prosperity once again Red Santa is knowhere to end his money-investing business and so just recently (4375) has bought some machines (leaving him broke again) that might help him and Blue Santa with the giftbearing.
The machines (a total of eight) were so split among Red Santa and Blue Santa with Blue Santa given a television teleporter; the hammer of hell; the golem from space; and a continent smasher. Problem thue; the business (as of Red Santa) was all a little shady so no instruction booklet was included leaving Blue Santa to not know how to use the machines (eventhue this doesn't matter to Blue Santa who just thought of it all as a fun way to get gifts (when you're Santa)).
Red Santa's machines was all (these too w/o instruction booklet) not named (Red Santa wanted it this way as to strenghten the anticipation of getting gifts of his own) and so their action had to be guessed.
First out; Red Santa tried with the biggest and most badass machines of them all; probably very hard to use but it came with an on-an-off button as large as Red Santa's head and as soon as it went switched on Zombies started to overflow the Santa mansion (up at the North Pole).
- Aha; could it be a Zombie Manifestation Device; Red Santa winsed.
Next; the Head Elf was joining the crew (up at the mansion in the North Pole) and as soon as he hit the large basement facility the Zombie Manifestation Device just got zeroed and seemingly went out of function.
Second out; Red Santa tried with the next-largest machine and while starting it (this machine had an even more sizable on-on-off-switch) the machine starts to blink and shine showing a display (and keypad) with the words: 'Enter Telephone Number'. Having had his telephone number shut off (because of too much time spent on the phone with complaints on the Christmas giftbearing) Santa Claus reached down to one of the (nowatime) deceased zombies and so found a telephone number hanging in a key chain around the deceased zombie.
- Let's try with this number; shan't we; Red Santa winsed.
Putting the number taken from the zombie in the machine the machine starts to rustle and on another (large) display sees zombies rushing from the machine's display and out into the mansion basement (up at the North Pole).
- This time we need the Elf Engineer; shouted Red Santa as zombies (once again) started to overflow the Red Santa mansion basement.
Sooner than anyone could winse the Elf Engineer was taken to the basement (mansion). The Elf Engineer seemingly had an idea and so tried with putting in the telephone number of Doctor Phil (yes; that Doctor Phil) into the machine.
By this time the zombie had started to overflow both from the recently tested machine and the Zombie Manifestation Device but as soon as the number (to Doctor Phil) was put in the (recent) machine - and Doctor Phil's elusive shadow shown on the large display of the device - the Zombies started to dissolve.
- Must have been when they saw that large narcissistic; jungean non-believer; do-it-your-self-better image of Doctor Phil; winsed the Elf Engineer.
- This; my Santa; is a telephone television!
- But what's with the other device?!; asked Red Santa.
- That my friend is being juiced by the belief of the machine (conceptual machine). You [Red Santa] and I believe in the machine while the Head Elf does not; hence the (timed) overflowings of zombies.
- So the zombies will overflow from time to time depending whose in its vicinity?; asked Red Santa.
- Isn't there an easy way of getting rid of them all in a heyday?
- With the belief of anti-dualism the zombie's can't engage in this universe; declares the Elf Engineering.
- Good; I will try and arrange that for all the staff entering this joint; winsed Red Santa.
Third out; Red Santa tried with another large machine. Having opened it and (as usual) not knowing how it functions a Lucia (train(?)) started to engage in the basement (of the Red Santa's mansion) and doing so the Zombie's was once and again became alive (and started to overflow the mansion). That's when Red Santa pushed a big button (of the size of a human head) on the recently tested machine (that said; push here) and so the Lucia train was completely irradiated.
- Must be an Anti-Matter Destractor; winsed the Elf Engineer.
- You can try it while believing in anti-ideas and all your ideas (anti) will start the destractor's annihilation procedure.
Fourth out; while opening the last (fourth) machine Red Santa (this time) got too many ideas of thinking how the device function's and so the Anti-Matter Destractor got itself rowling.
- You need anti-ideas to get the destractor non-functioning! It's turning to erradiate us!; shrieks the Elf Engineer to Red Santa.
That's when Red Santa got the one (bright) idea of how to read the recently opened machine.
- It's a telephone teleporter. I just need to call my other mansion up at the South Pole and so we can escape there by the machine [the telephone teleporter].
Red Santa was once again victorious.
Blue Santa was once again victorious.
And so the zombies was yet a failure.
// Henrik Aronsson (Other Persona)
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